Sex Fruit

I really thought that maybe this week there wouldn’t be anything really really stupid to write about – apart from Sideshow Pete, but humans being the idiots that they never disappoint.

Apart from the stupid names celebrities give their children, like Coldplay’s lead singer who said..

“People make a big fuss over names. Names of babies, names of albums, names of bands.T here’s nothing weird about calling your baby Chewbacca if that’s what you want to call your baby. It’s no stranger than Sarah.”

Um what, naming your child after a fictional woolly alien is no stranger than Sarah! What planet are you on, oh wait, planet-too-much-money-and-no-sense.

nice name for your kid

And don’t get me started with silly spelling of names. God only knows why but some people clearly don’t feel special enough so they think that spelling their names differently will make them ‘different’, or maybe it’s just because they can’t spell. If you’ve changed the spelling of your name, say from Kylie to Kylee, Kyleigh, Kiley, Kyley, get a grip, the only thing you’ve proved is that you’re a twit that can’t spell.

Back to the real reason for this post, it’s been around for a while but it’s parents who are stoned, or maybe just stupid giving names to their kids that will without any doubt lead to their lives being a complete misery, or as a Judge described it, essentially child abuse. I’ve heard the ones about Holden and Ford, but how about this selection…

Fish and Chips (twins), Masport and Mower (twins); boys Yeah Detroit, Spiral Cicada, Kaos, Stallion and Hitler; girls Cinderella Beauty Blossom and Twisty Poi; and sex unknown Keenan Got Lucky and Sex Fruit.

You’re probably thinking “only in America” right? well no, the muppets who gave their kids these names are right here in New Zealand. WTF is going through someones head to call their kid ‘Sex Fruit’? Maybe in addition to licencing people to own dogs we should be licencing people to have kids, because clearly some people think it’s a bit of a joke!

So people, if you’re thinking of giving your kid a name based on a food, consumer product, or hated historical figure, take a deep breath and a cold shower and then go to a web site which has real human names on it and pick something that isn’t going to make their life a misery, and when you pick one leave the spelling alone and don’t screw with it!

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